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|Friday, March 28th, 2008|
|sooo my baby
I really don't know where he learned it, and I don't let it work on me, but Skyler, on his own figured this one out:
When we don't let him have something he wants (this is usually our glasses) he smiles, leans in and gives you a huge kiss and hug while taking the thing he wants while you aren't looking. Of course he never gets to keep the glasses or they would be crushed, but how did he learn to try that?
He also loves to tease by handing you something and then pulling it back just as you reach it. lol. I don't know where he learned that either, as I never did that to him because it would have seamed mean. But, when he does it it's super cute.
He is very charming and has the charming smile DOWN.
|Wednesday, March 12th, 2008|
I've missed you people. Where have you (I) been? ;)
|Friday, February 29th, 2008|
|Music Video Release AzUp
For all my Phoenix Peeps, check out the debut of Justus from Cut Throat Logic's new Music Video at The Sets this Friday nite (3-7.
They've estabished themselves pretty strongly as some of the best hip hop in the Phoenix area, so local music supporters get out there and support damnit! Current Mood: busy
|Sunday, June 18th, 2006|
I fell in love with you about 30 seconds into our first kiss. Sorry about that, but you know what you do to the girls!
I don't know why I’m writing this, except with the thought the web might extend to the afterlife maybe and I just have so much emotion to get out.
I have so many things I would like to say to you. I could talk for 5 hours or so without pause, but if I had 5 more hours with you all I would want to do is listen. and watch. You had so many gestures and body movements. I laugh even now just thinking about the full body bounce: "right. right."
Your intensity was contagious. You were so excited about things. Music, people... music. ;)
I still don’t understand the difference between house, jungle, breakbeat, trance, tecno, (weren’t their others?) but you tried to teach me.
I just read a journal entry from when we had ravioli dinner at my house up north with Saundra and Anthony. Afterward Saundra made me put on sexy clothes and dance in front of those mirrors and you and Anthony thought we were freaks. And we strip-danced to the Chipmunks song and Anthony said it was time for them to go because you two were weirded out! Hahahahah!
The Westside will always be you. The Sets will always be you. Naked road trips will always be you. The Cure will always be you. I will never watch a Packers game without thinking of you. They will always mean you.
I’m sorry about Sugar Daddy’s. I didn’t mean it. You could always just get to me. I wish I had never said those things.
I’m glad I had a chance in November to say goodbye, but if we had known, really known, I would have held on longer, never let you go.
I love you every way a person can love another person. I love you more than I ever believed I could love a man. We all loved you and you will never be forgotten. Current Mood: nostalgic
|Saturday, June 17th, 2006|
so, i was looking at LJ. the last time i posted was november 7th for saundra's party. that means that the last time i saw him was 5.30am on november 9th. and now i would give up a body part for another hour. and i can't even think about this. Current Mood: destroyed
|Monday, November 7th, 2005|
if any of you aren't busy wednesday evening, i'm having a small gathering at my house for anyone who can make it over to see saunra off to boise. she would love to see all of you while she is here, and would have called many of you by now, ecept i've lost my phone and have no numbers for her to reach you all at.
so, write me here if you would like to come and see her during this visit. she won't be returning until summer. also, lisa and chip- i need your phone numbers again! wanted to call a dozen times!
k Current Mood: crazy
|Wednesday, September 28th, 2005|
ok, haven't been HERE in a while. *looks around. looks the same to her*
ok, the update:
Mark is here just in case you haven't heard him yet. he's pretty loud and drunk, so where ever you are, you may have been woken up by him once or twice. he's working and swimming and really happy to be back. he will be hitting on you shortly. whomever you are.
the paper is going really well. ad sales suck, but it's going better. and i get to write about bands to 50,000 people a week. not a bad gig.
still booking and doing the marketing for subculture cafe. good stuff. you can get a large chai tea there on tuesdays for less than $2.
i haven't been able to afford to see my doctor in prescott in months, but i'm still on the diet he put me on. i've lost 12lbs! i LOVE that guy and can't wait to get to see him again. i've never been so healthy. no black cirlces under eyes or nuthin'. joel rules. but he's expensive.
and i lost my job. the one at christie's. yup. fired as a stripper. broke the #1 rule of stripping. most of you met ric (aka eric, easy-tan, 80's movie star, gollum). just could not keep his drunk, scitzo little ass out of my club. and i didn't realize that not only did he go there sometimes before we dated, but that they are actually adding the 'ric barton wing' onto christie's caberet. what a dumb ass. second morgage anyone? no, strippers are NOT your friends. they are friends with your money.
so, i told him i never wanted to speak to him again on sat. morning and got fired on sat nite. lost a lover and a job in the space of 12 hours. my first time being fired too. and it's so f'ed up that i miss little things about him.
we were having some fun sex though... except...lol...
2 weeks ago i sent him to fasinations to buy some stuff and 'anything else' he thought looked like fun... i came home to a 4inch tall butt plug! i'm like um, i hope that's the size you want in YOU, cause otherwise, no.
*guys, when something goes in THERE, it's a FAVOR. don't buy anything extra for that space, cause it isn't really a space at all.*
and now, i'm looking for a new club to work at. one with a champagne room. ideas? Current Mood: crushed
|Sunday, December 26th, 2004|
yo! what up party people? i'm still chillin (and i mean it's cold) in kcmo. have resperatory infection and that's nice. heading up to the city tonite anyway. going to hit up some of the old hangouts. mark and mireya and i went last week and i have to say it was the most fun mark and i could have out drinking together. and i was sooo hung over. 2nite we're keeping it a bit milder. but, i think there might be like 20 of us. i'll let you know how it goes...
christmas rocked. cool gifts and losing at poker and lotsa family. and booze.
i'll hit the highlights of 2nite later...
c you all next week.
and btw- all of you going to athena's 21st birthday party? wed. nite i think...
|Saturday, December 18th, 2004|
hey party people! i need ur addresses and any addresses you have of other people i know ASAP! thanks, trying to send out christmas cards to everyone i like this year, and if i get the addy's soon i will actually have time to do it this year.
ps - jen, wes, shea: i know your address. Current Mood: sleepy
|Wednesday, November 10th, 2004|
|does anyone out there read this shit?
so, i made an entry when i first got here, part amusing, part disturbing, and part, well, i thought a bit suprising. yet, no one from the phx area comented on the post. there was one particular comment that i thought would raise eyebrows, rouse a few questions/eyebrows, but, either everyone already knew, no one cared, or no one reads my crap. so, i'm thinking that i should find a way to mark it when i'm going to say something shocking or important. like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! as the subject line. since i'm on so rarely i just thought y'all would be hanging on every word, but, no...
so, if you didn't read my last couple of posts, you might wanna go back and check out last tuesday. unless y'all were already aware and are just truely beyond caring. for me though it was both wierd, dreadful, and sad in a lot of ways. an era ended over a year ago, but this is the final lid on the coffin covering the dead body of what we once were.
and i think it got lost in our dread for this country's future. the dream of change for the u.s. is dead people, let's look at the smaller picture. Current Mood: nostalgic
|Thursday, November 4th, 2004|
|and only emma misses me...
and here i am in kansas city and it's cold and my family RULES, and mark is doing well and sends his best and wishes he were there and he just doesn't see how nice it is to be with family and know that when things are aweful you aren't on your own.
diet still going well.
seeing my father tonite for dinner. will be odd to see him and not get blasted, but diet does not call for boozin it up.
war nightmares last nite. Current Mood: calm
|Tuesday, November 2nd, 2004|
so, who hasn't been on in FOREVER? me.
i don't even remember the last time i was on, so let's just assume you know what's gone on in the last month - close to nothing but work - and just catch straight up to present...
i'm in kansas city for the next 11 days visiting family. i came here to vote as i am still registered in my home town. now, i'm sitting in front of the tv waiting the results. we're at 207/199. it's so close...
surreal moment of the year: last saturday morning i woke up on the floor of an empty, blank room wearing nothing but black thigh-highs. it didn't take long to remember where i was/how i got there, but those first few seconds - so weird.
now, i may have chose to keep the end of that nite on the DL, had i not been left AWAKE, drunk, and, as too often happens, in possession of a cell phone to text, friends, room-mates and whoever else didn't care to hear from me at 5am.
- this is good incentive for post-cuddling (waiting til he/she passes out) vs 'thanks for playin. see ya.'
my mother voted for bush. my state went to bush.
i started the south beach diet today. it's working out so far. it's good, cause it also means not drinking for 2 weeks. this will be very good for me. i am going to come back in great shape.
anthony is moving to boise this month, fyi. he's very happy about it.
bush got florida. and colorado.
i can't watch this anymore. it looks over. i'm going to bed. maybe i wake up to better news... Current Mood: anxious
|Thursday, September 30th, 2004|
haven't been on in like 3 weeks now but i'm at chip and lisa's waiting for my laundry to dry and have some free time, so i'll try to think of anything worthy to say to y'all while i'm here; so, this post is too you, and not me.
crap, this might be a bit boring...
i'm working at bombshells again and after the first week or so of weirdness it's working out.
waking ashland was in town recently. they were so good. i was happy to see them play with a little more edge to them. and they are such dolls. we made them a care package including gatorade! (this only means something to some of you...)
next month 'from first to last' is going to be in town and y'all in phx have to come if you can. i'll send you a date soon.
i'm getting my bedroom in tollerable condition. still have to re-paint it and get some curtains and such, but it's coming together. the carpet in it sucks ass though and it's just not as cool as living on a moving bus.
speaking of ass, a couple of weeks ago i had about 4 hours of the wildest sex you can have without the use of toys or a swing. we were going to keep it on the D.L., but at this point i think everyone's heard about it but my mother. i think we have fewer than 20 hours left. what i shame. i may have to renew that request eventually.
i've been giving anthony rides to work. he goes in about every day. this includes days he isn't sceduled for.
been chilling with chip and lisa once in a while. they are still super-cute.
oops! laundy done, gotta run!
btw - albersons is having amazing sales this week! for real. Current Mood: content
|Tuesday, September 7th, 2004|
|summer of a lifetime
when i was 11 my parents let me stay the summer with my grandparents whom i adored 8 hours away from home. i swam in there pool for 7 -12 hours a day, was alone at the pool while they worked, fed the fish in the pond dogfood at night with my grandfather and my only responsibility was to have my grandmother's tea ready when she pulled in the driveway from work. it was the best summer of my life...
this summer was the second best. i fell in love this summer. i love touring. i love warped tour.
ok, there are a lot of sucky bands on warped (see staring back, anti-flag, aprox 60% of all bands on the smartpunk stage, and modern make-up. nevermind - don't see them. take my word on this one), but there were 12 stages and the music only played for @8 hours anyway. the music was just a little part of it all. warped tour is called 'punkrock summer camp' and that so much what it is.
i met the best and worse people on this tour. we got up at 8:30am and started to work. miss high maintenance showered an average of once every 3 days. my hair was the wildest mane of curls you you can imagine (unless you know jon, then it was the 2nd wildest). people started trying to find me by looking for my hair. i found out the van's go with literally everything. i wore the same pair of muddy jeans for 3 full days rolling them up to my knees half the time. i brushed my teeth with vodka because there was rarely any water to be found running or otherwise. if you sat down your drink or your plate it became someone else's before you knew it. yes, people would actually take your plate and finish it up. i drank out of any can (yes, it comes in cans) of tour water i spotted. we once washed enough dishes in beer that we could make dinner for the 60+ people who we catered for that night.
the things you care about on the road are so different than in normal life...
i cared mostly about:
if i could keep from going more than 3 days without a shower
not doing anything stupid in front of kevin lyman
selling my quota of cd's per day
what time the matches played
not getting stuck in the booth during anti-flag as to have to hear those overly rehearsed speeches and monotonous music they were so adamant about
making lunch or dinner for everyone/ actually getting to eat some of it
getting to the bbq at night for yet another cheeseburger
getting monster vodka before the rebels, a small victory, and the static girls drank all of it
NOT MIS-PLACING MY LAMINANT
finding a bathroom
seeing all of the people on the tour that had become you neighbors, friends and extended family
the air on the bus working/the heater not running for no reason in places like florida
never seeing lou again or hearing any of his delusions
walking past the drive-thru tent a couple of times a week (or more) to see but have nothing to think to say the beautiful justin
we didn't party as much as we would have though before going in as there was so much work to do that i was usually so exhausted by the end of the day that i wanted sleep a lot more that i wanted anything else in the world. most of the time i had no idea what city we were in. we woke up there and got off the bus at a park or a stadium or whatever. i took 4 of us several minutes one day to figure out what day of the week it was. there was a lot of dissension on the final answer. i only knew the date in boston. getting into canada... another story...
i have a million stories, because every day was an adventure, but i'll have to find out how to do a cut to write them all or i will go on forever.
i will be going on and on about this summer for the rest of the year, so be prepared to tune me out sometimes.
it was the most fun i've ever had as an 'adult'.
"no one wants to leave the circus..." Current Mood: indescribable
|Saturday, August 21st, 2004|
alive, well, in new york for a few days. so many stories to tell... miss you guys. love, k
|Tuesday, June 8th, 2004|
trip was glorious. fam is great. re-union was perfect - lotsa people i hadn't seen in a while, tons of great food. soooo much drinking and good times in westport for m's birthday on sat. we were b-l-i-t-z-d. and we got that way on $25 total, including cover charges. i don't remember exactly how... but, we had a DD, my parents came and picked us up at 2.30. mark and amanda had dinner with us and dropped us off there, and we hit a bunch of the old bars. m was surprised that people there remembered us after 3 years. i was not as surprised.
mark plans on meeting us out here on the 30th for warped...
saw new chiropractor. 3 times. he fixed a buncha stuff, but my back is still a bit sore, better though. my mother was right, he is a cutie, very tall though.
roomies - i bought silverware. who's the new potential roomie? anyone we know? Current Mood: cheerful
|Thursday, May 27th, 2004|
|notes to friends...
jen- cleaning up 4 ames arrival. we need more dishwasher soap. would get on line and talk to you, but you leave your screen name on here and i didn't know if i could switch to mine and this is the only computer with internet right now, so thought this would be the best way to get u a message...
o4fuxsake - i don't always read all your posts, but i would never filter you my dear... and not just because i don't know what that means or how to do it either.
new friend who isn't on any friends list- it never fails to surprise me that you hear things i say to you, let alone read the things i say here. so, now i know that you care. ok. ditto.
wes - sorry our 'friends' suck. we've all gone as far as we can for them. if you go by the house will you get my fish? thx. Current Mood: dirty
|Tuesday, May 25th, 2004|
|appologies and respect
so, yesterday jen was relaying parts of a conversation she had concerning men not respecting and how they appologies when they want to get in your pants. i don't know about all that. what bothered me at the time about it was it sounded like he was using me as an example without using my name. it was really creepy to be honest.
so then, for the first time i thought maybe i shouldn't have handled things the way i did that night. if all the appologies were lies to get in my pants then that's really sick. but, in my world i'm sorry can just mean i'm sorry. and in my world it's ok to except that. i was upset for a while yesterday because i thought that somehow tainted my closure on the issue.
that really isn't the case though, whether his part of it was all lies or not. i got what i needed out of it. sure, some of it felt like bs even then. i had also figured out long before that if i were going to get the closure i wanted i was going to have to use a little booze and a little flesh to get us there. but, that wasn't hard to except because that part was always good with us anyway. but, i never wanted to think it was JUST that. i wanted to believe that 'i'm sorry for what i did to you' meant that he was and that the 'hey, while we're here' was just bonus and that it wasn't just a guy trying to play me for head.
the idea that all of the 'i do respect you' lines were just that was a little sad. but then i thought about it and really, i doubt he does respect me, but many of the reasons he doesn't are things about myself that i do respect in myself and in others that i wouldn't change anyway.
in some people's minds accepting an appology is a weakness. to me it's one of my strengths. if they are false, at least i did what i thought was right.
end result is, whatever. whatever it was for him shouldn't effect me. i got what i needed, i said what i needed to say and i took my comfort from it. still, the end. Current Mood: content
|so much to update...
so, i'm going to split my posts up because there are too many subjects that have nothing to do with eachother that i want to cover and when i read them years from now i don't want 'em crammed all together.
i've been meaning to write 'letter to the house of lies' to get it out of my system and really so i would stop second guessing myself. was it that bad? they acted like it wasn't, that nothing was really wrong, so then i think 'am i over-reacting?' that's why i plan on writing some of it out. because if i forget all the bs then i fall back into thier way of perceiving things which is really warped. kurt v. was wrong on this one. perception is NOT reality. ok, maybe it's their reality. but, in this case, i have to remember that my perception is the only one that is based on ACTUAL reality. theirs is based on something else. and denial because guilt is not an option. i just have a hard time staying mad at people and when they say they are sorry, i tend to accept it (another post on that one is forthcoming). so, if they had even acted more sorry about things, i would probably still be around. but, like i said, guilt is not an option, and taking responsibility for ones actions stops being a consideration and you don't have to respect anyone else when you aren't repecting yourself. ...and the 51 is still closed btw.
oh, and i kissed a 20 year old band boy from detroit in our bathroom yesterday. we met the night before at melissa's, as they are touring and needed a place to crash for the night. so, matt's birthday party, two more bands walk in to melissa's studio apt., we all introduce ourselves and from that time on i never stopped talking to this kid. everyone partied around us, went outside, whatever. we just sat on one of the beds and talked. and what does he do in his band boys and girls? yeah, sings and plays guitar. i haven't seen them play or even heard the music. they walk in the door, i'm on the alvin.
anyway, we bbq'd yesterday and they left for a show in tucson and we talked on the phone for and hour after i got off of work last night. i like the way he thinks. he's straight edge too, which is kinda weird for me, but he's cool about it. it's just a little flirtation, but it was fun.
the dj at work played me sugarcult last night and it made me happy. that and the 3 salty-dogs in 20 minute break... monday nights at titty bars kinda suck sometimes.
going to kansas city in a few days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! very happy!!!!!!!!! can not wait to see mark and my familly. and, no lisa, i do not really want to take any of his sex toys back with me for him. thanks...
ok, see, i'm doing it already. lotsa subjects, one post. next post please...
|Tuesday, April 27th, 2004|
no absess i guess. at least they didn't say that and they didn't feel the need to cut me open. i have antibiotics and pain killers and will need a root canal very soon. gotta love that.
hoping to get a ride over to rockbottom or where ever the crew is meetin 2nite to chill 4 a bit, as i would like to say 'word out' to jeremy but will not be driving while taking pain pills. Current Mood: relieved